It was about the last year that I conceived the bold and arduous project of arriving at moral perfection. I realized I needed to live with limited technology; I would conquer using written material instead of technological things, more time for homework, and more social time. As I knew what I thought was right and wrong, I did not see why I couldn’t do all at the same time. But soon I found out I had taken a task more difficult than I thought. My habits were effecting me the most.
I spent too much time using the internet for things that weren’t important such as myspace and facebook; I watched a lot of tv; I often spent time sitting around listening to my ipod. It took up the time I had to work on homework. The less homework time I had the less social time I had. Slowly I worked my way in creating a limit of technology time by making a list of things that I should improve on most.
1.Internet: I gave myself 1 hour of internet use per day.
2.T.V.: I let myself watch only 2 hours of t.v. per day.
3.Ipod: I could use my ipod for half and hour each day.
Monday, October 15, 2007
A Short and Light Decleration
Matt Mogan
October 14, 2007
Mr. Lovre Period 4
AP LA 11
A Short and Light Pastiche
We the People of the United Students of Fourth Period AP LA do hereby with withdraw and utterly destroy all and known and unknown forms or personifications hereto of our allegiance with said Fried and Lovre for reasons that will be explained in tiresomely long sentences, garbled grammar and irksome foul-mouthing word usage. We people feel it necessary to withdraw and utterly destroy said allegiance for following reason; the cruel and uncalled for betrothal of vocabulary lessons to aforementioned AP LA class. They burned our villages and killed our people and grinned their serpent grins and therefore all allegiance must be totally and utterly pulverized beyond visible recognition so that not even dental records can confirm its identity. We [ ] appealed to them to stop this madness, yet they refused and now they have crossed ye line. They have been deaf to our voices and blind to our faces. We the representatives feel this deafness to be a problem which requires the full and complete withdrawal.
Grievance two, as it comes after grievance one is quite the irksome irk. We have had far to many essays that are long and hard to write to count, and they are really hard and take up much paper, which is another greivance, as there is not enough paper supplied to our class and since the Fried and Lovre shut down our class paper mills which were a major industry that brought in much commerce and trade to our ports and…
We therefore the representatives of the United Students of Fourth Period AP LA in General Congress assembled, do in the name, and by the authority of the United Students of Fourth Period AP LA do in the name, and by the authority of the good people of these states reject and renounce all allegiance to the Empire of Fried and Lovre.
October 14, 2007
Mr. Lovre Period 4
AP LA 11
A Short and Light Pastiche
We the People of the United Students of Fourth Period AP LA do hereby with withdraw and utterly destroy all and known and unknown forms or personifications hereto of our allegiance with said Fried and Lovre for reasons that will be explained in tiresomely long sentences, garbled grammar and irksome foul-mouthing word usage. We people feel it necessary to withdraw and utterly destroy said allegiance for following reason; the cruel and uncalled for betrothal of vocabulary lessons to aforementioned AP LA class. They burned our villages and killed our people and grinned their serpent grins and therefore all allegiance must be totally and utterly pulverized beyond visible recognition so that not even dental records can confirm its identity. We [ ] appealed to them to stop this madness, yet they refused and now they have crossed ye line. They have been deaf to our voices and blind to our faces. We the representatives feel this deafness to be a problem which requires the full and complete withdrawal.
Grievance two, as it comes after grievance one is quite the irksome irk. We have had far to many essays that are long and hard to write to count, and they are really hard and take up much paper, which is another greivance, as there is not enough paper supplied to our class and since the Fried and Lovre shut down our class paper mills which were a major industry that brought in much commerce and trade to our ports and…
We therefore the representatives of the United Students of Fourth Period AP LA in General Congress assembled, do in the name, and by the authority of the United Students of Fourth Period AP LA do in the name, and by the authority of the good people of these states reject and renounce all allegiance to the Empire of Fried and Lovre.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Speech To The Owners Of The Seahawks by Spence Watson
To the Owners of the Seahawks: No man thinks more highly than I do of the aptitude, as well as the abilities of our mutual running back Shaun Alexander. But different men see the same subject in the same light, and as you may view his dismal performance in the games this season as a break in his talents, I choose to reasonably recognize them as the sun setting on a long career. This is no time for rationalization. The question before you is one of awful moment to this franchise.
Owners, it is natural to man to indulge in visions of 1000 yard rushing seasons. Are we apt to keep our eyes pointed toward the statistics of the 2005 season, and away from the looming forms of our opponents secondary? Is this the role of rich owners and head coaches, who are engaged in the arduous struggle for Superbowl rings? For my part, whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth and to not avert my eyes from any accounts of inadmissibly low averages for yards-per-rush.
I ask you, gentlemen, as this season bears on with unacceptable performances of our running back, what shall be done? What means these low figures, if not the foreshadowing of lower? As Alexander’s yards-per-game drops in exceeding amounts each game, will ever something be done about it? Will this downward spiral ever be stopped?
And when these numbers become as low as they can be, what then? Who shall be there to turn to? Will our teams morale be strong enough to carry us through our season with a winning record? Nay, I say, we shall fall to depths previously unheard of, depths the rams have only recently glimpsed. Forbid it, Almighty God! There is still time for an age of Maurice Morris! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me 5.0 average yards-per-rush, or give me death!
Owners, it is natural to man to indulge in visions of 1000 yard rushing seasons. Are we apt to keep our eyes pointed toward the statistics of the 2005 season, and away from the looming forms of our opponents secondary? Is this the role of rich owners and head coaches, who are engaged in the arduous struggle for Superbowl rings? For my part, whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth and to not avert my eyes from any accounts of inadmissibly low averages for yards-per-rush.
I ask you, gentlemen, as this season bears on with unacceptable performances of our running back, what shall be done? What means these low figures, if not the foreshadowing of lower? As Alexander’s yards-per-game drops in exceeding amounts each game, will ever something be done about it? Will this downward spiral ever be stopped?
And when these numbers become as low as they can be, what then? Who shall be there to turn to? Will our teams morale be strong enough to carry us through our season with a winning record? Nay, I say, we shall fall to depths previously unheard of, depths the rams have only recently glimpsed. Forbid it, Almighty God! There is still time for an age of Maurice Morris! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me 5.0 average yards-per-rush, or give me death!
Arriving at Moral Perfection by Anna Miller
(Arriving at Moral Perfection by Ben Franklin)
It was about this weekend that I conceived the bold and tedious project of arriving at moral perfection. I was told to try and live without committing any fault at any time, or getting any B’s in any classes; I would conquer all that either procrastination, indulgence, disinterest, or apathy might lead me into. As I knew, or thought I knew, what was right and wrong, I did not see the impossibility in attempting to be truly morally perfect. But I soon found that I had undertaken a task of more difficulty and more structured imagination than I had guessed. Procrastination was often too strong for the willingness to complete a certain English project in a timely manner. A need for joy was too strong to stay at home and get some much-needed rest on a three-day weekend.
In order to sum up my admittedly lame efforts, I have created a list of virtues that recently have proved themselves to be desirable in my seventeen-year-old life:
1. Drive. Do not wait until the last possible second to do things. Don’t watch hours upon hours of Law and Order marathons while putting off that chemistry lab write-up all day.
2. Friendship. Maintain friendships and make new ones.
3. Priorities. Don’t lose focus on what’s important. And that doesn’t always mean sacrificing your time for schoolwork.
4. Love. Speaks for itself.
It was about this weekend that I conceived the bold and tedious project of arriving at moral perfection. I was told to try and live without committing any fault at any time, or getting any B’s in any classes; I would conquer all that either procrastination, indulgence, disinterest, or apathy might lead me into. As I knew, or thought I knew, what was right and wrong, I did not see the impossibility in attempting to be truly morally perfect. But I soon found that I had undertaken a task of more difficulty and more structured imagination than I had guessed. Procrastination was often too strong for the willingness to complete a certain English project in a timely manner. A need for joy was too strong to stay at home and get some much-needed rest on a three-day weekend.
In order to sum up my admittedly lame efforts, I have created a list of virtues that recently have proved themselves to be desirable in my seventeen-year-old life:
1. Drive. Do not wait until the last possible second to do things. Don’t watch hours upon hours of Law and Order marathons while putting off that chemistry lab write-up all day.
2. Friendship. Maintain friendships and make new ones.
3. Priorities. Don’t lose focus on what’s important. And that doesn’t always mean sacrificing your time for schoolwork.
4. Love. Speaks for itself.
A Response to Patrick Henry's Speech to the House of Burgesses - by Danny Schwartz
Mr. Henry: Your words at the church moved me, and no less. The rivulets of thought that sprang so readily from your mouth brought my head to a point of overwhelming curiosity. I could not for the life of me think what a man of my stature, pray, might do to strive to achieve such a lofty goal as to free the shackles of this country, liberate us from the tyranny of the British. I own but a tavern, lead a simple life, befriending those who come to my establishment. They say I am the kindest man in Richmond. Maybe they are right, and I am flattered, but what actions might I take to achieve what is rightfully mine? I am no more harmful than a squirrel in an acorn tree! Is vigilance, as you say, truly necessary? To prove what? That we are but vigilant? The British have angered the colonies with unwanted taxes, and I myself have suffered already. What benefit might vigilance provide? And what of bravery? True, it requires heart to stand up to what is wrong if what is wrong is the authority. I feel the frustration, as do many others. But what can my bravery do, save get me into trouble? I keep a tavern! I lack the ambition of yourself and many townspeople.
I feel your sentiments, their sentiments, and yet, those sentiments cannot manifest themselves within me as a desire to take action. In spite of the persuasiveness of your speech, I cannot help but feel the fight belongs in Boston. There they are unafraid to act out against this tyranny. It is an awful thing, tyranny, but should rebellion not be left to those who aspire it? These thoughts trouble me. I do not believe in my own ability to act, but at the same time liberty has meaning. Liberty is not everything, but without it, everything is nothing. Thus I respect your cause, and strive to make it my own.
I feel your sentiments, their sentiments, and yet, those sentiments cannot manifest themselves within me as a desire to take action. In spite of the persuasiveness of your speech, I cannot help but feel the fight belongs in Boston. There they are unafraid to act out against this tyranny. It is an awful thing, tyranny, but should rebellion not be left to those who aspire it? These thoughts trouble me. I do not believe in my own ability to act, but at the same time liberty has meaning. Liberty is not everything, but without it, everything is nothing. Thus I respect your cause, and strive to make it my own.
Declaration of True Eating by Vincent Kwan
In course of a food event it becomes necessary for people to eat food which connects them to another, and to assume among food to separate calories and fats to which the laws of eating and the natures of obesity entitles them, a decent respect to mixture of saturated and hydrogenated fats that they should declare the causes of which, tells us to eat.
We hold these truths: that all men and women are created equal; that they are endowed by their stomachs, with uncontrollable desire, that among these are good food, pleasure, and pursuit of many layers of fat; that secures these lovely, stomachs are instituted among people, deriving their hunger from the consent growling of the stomach; that any delicious combination of food becomes delicate of these ends, it is the right of the people to savage it, and to institute new peptic ulcers, laying it’s foundation of cracked open spaces, and organizing its pain in such form, as to them shall seem most like to effect their future eating habits and pleasure.
The present fast foods restaurants in United States of America is a history of heartburns and constipations, and over usage of many well scrubbed toilets; we grow tired of them giving us bad infections, from never flushed toilets, shall doom us all. The dislocating of a finger and obese kids will establish true tyranny upon the people of America.
They have refused to admit other accommodation of large people in the population, unless these people would die from fatty burgers and oily fries, inestimable to them, and formidable to food tyrants only.
They have rendered advertising signs for the children population, and superior to, their innocent and little healthy minds.
They have combined with others to subject us to a fast food desire in our daily lives and unacknowledged by the food department of health, giving them assent to their acts of pretend healthy ads, for protecting themselves from mobs of over-weight people among us, for protecting themselves from severe money lost for any countless deaths which they committed on the inhabitants of these state; for cutting off their own fingers thinking it’s fries; for imposing unwanted signs without the health departments consent; for depriving us for healthy benefits of life by eating; for transporting us beyond obesity, abolishing the real taste of angus beef in hamburgers, enlarging the dollar menu, so as to render it at one example and fit prices for introducing twenty-four grams of fat in these states; from taking away real healthy fats, abolishing our most valuable vitamins, to altering our vitamins with chemicals into our stomachs; for suspending our own eating habits, and declaring themselves the healthy industry for us.
We, the wannabe anorexic people of the United States of America gathered here today in my crib in the South end, by the holy name of Jesus, shall represent the authority of all people of these states shall reject the addicting taste of fake Angus beef, and other fast grown tomatoes and fries. We will free our states from their fully grown fast food factories, shall conclude peace once all McDonald’s in America, burns down to our very knees: we shall enjoy the new taste of actual Angus beef, may we pledge our stomachs to our lives, our fortune, and our sacred honor of true eating.
We hold these truths: that all men and women are created equal; that they are endowed by their stomachs, with uncontrollable desire, that among these are good food, pleasure, and pursuit of many layers of fat; that secures these lovely, stomachs are instituted among people, deriving their hunger from the consent growling of the stomach; that any delicious combination of food becomes delicate of these ends, it is the right of the people to savage it, and to institute new peptic ulcers, laying it’s foundation of cracked open spaces, and organizing its pain in such form, as to them shall seem most like to effect their future eating habits and pleasure.
The present fast foods restaurants in United States of America is a history of heartburns and constipations, and over usage of many well scrubbed toilets; we grow tired of them giving us bad infections, from never flushed toilets, shall doom us all. The dislocating of a finger and obese kids will establish true tyranny upon the people of America.
They have refused to admit other accommodation of large people in the population, unless these people would die from fatty burgers and oily fries, inestimable to them, and formidable to food tyrants only.
They have rendered advertising signs for the children population, and superior to, their innocent and little healthy minds.
They have combined with others to subject us to a fast food desire in our daily lives and unacknowledged by the food department of health, giving them assent to their acts of pretend healthy ads, for protecting themselves from mobs of over-weight people among us, for protecting themselves from severe money lost for any countless deaths which they committed on the inhabitants of these state; for cutting off their own fingers thinking it’s fries; for imposing unwanted signs without the health departments consent; for depriving us for healthy benefits of life by eating; for transporting us beyond obesity, abolishing the real taste of angus beef in hamburgers, enlarging the dollar menu, so as to render it at one example and fit prices for introducing twenty-four grams of fat in these states; from taking away real healthy fats, abolishing our most valuable vitamins, to altering our vitamins with chemicals into our stomachs; for suspending our own eating habits, and declaring themselves the healthy industry for us.
We, the wannabe anorexic people of the United States of America gathered here today in my crib in the South end, by the holy name of Jesus, shall represent the authority of all people of these states shall reject the addicting taste of fake Angus beef, and other fast grown tomatoes and fries. We will free our states from their fully grown fast food factories, shall conclude peace once all McDonald’s in America, burns down to our very knees: we shall enjoy the new taste of actual Angus beef, may we pledge our stomachs to our lives, our fortune, and our sacred honor of true eating.
A Declaration to Our Obnoxious Visitors, by Rebecca Cohen
When, in the course of hosting houseguests, it become necessary for the hosts to evict said guests from their abode, and to assume once more the peace and privacy to which the laws of courtesy entitle them, a desire to prevent the situation from recurring requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the eviction.
We hold these principles of etiquette to be self-evident: that all people desire to be equally respected; that they are endowed by their Creator with inalienable rights; that among these are sleep, privacy, and the pursuit of their own interests; that to secure these rights, humans are inculcated with basic manners, deriving their power from the mutual consent of society; and that whenever a houseguest becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the hosts to banish him from their residence.
Such has been the patient sufferance of my family; and such is now the necessity which constrains us to expunge my father’s college buddy and his children from our home. To prove this, let facts be submitted to a sympathetic listener for the truth of which I pledge a faith unsullied by lies, bias, or hyperbole.
They have refused to be silent at 1:00 AM, when all normal people are sound asleep.
They have forbidden us to remove their strange tofu products from our refrigerator, and have subjected us to meals made entirely from health food.
They have endeavored to make us as uncomfortable as possible by discussing their personal issues in public.
They have made unusual, uncomfortable, and disturbing fart jokes at the dinner table.
They have made us dependant on their whims alone for planning our daily schedule, and have required us to visit tourist traps such as the Space Needle on a regular basis.
They have plundered our drawers in search of diversion, disregarding our requests that they not paw through our personal items.
They have subjected us to their company at every waking hour, willfully ignoring our hints that they should entertain themselves.
A family whose character is thus marked by every act which may define boorishness is unfit to stay in the home of another family. Nor have we been wanting in attentions to their whims. We have tactfully reminded them of the tenets of civility, and we have appealed to their common sense and compassion to cease these invasive behaviors which interrupt our rest and peace of mind. They have been deaf to the voice of decency. We must therefore acquiesce in the necessity which proclaims our eternal seperation!
We therefore the residents of this house do solemnly publish and declare, in the name of our sanity and well being, that we are, and of right ought to be, free of these visitors; that we are absolved from all allegiance with them, and that all social connection between us is, and ought to be, totally dissolved; and that as independent and long-suffering hosts, we have full power to expel them from our home.
And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the authorization of Ms. Manners, we mutually pledge to each other our support, our allowances, and the honor of our family.
We hold these principles of etiquette to be self-evident: that all people desire to be equally respected; that they are endowed by their Creator with inalienable rights; that among these are sleep, privacy, and the pursuit of their own interests; that to secure these rights, humans are inculcated with basic manners, deriving their power from the mutual consent of society; and that whenever a houseguest becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the hosts to banish him from their residence.
Such has been the patient sufferance of my family; and such is now the necessity which constrains us to expunge my father’s college buddy and his children from our home. To prove this, let facts be submitted to a sympathetic listener for the truth of which I pledge a faith unsullied by lies, bias, or hyperbole.
They have refused to be silent at 1:00 AM, when all normal people are sound asleep.
They have forbidden us to remove their strange tofu products from our refrigerator, and have subjected us to meals made entirely from health food.
They have endeavored to make us as uncomfortable as possible by discussing their personal issues in public.
They have made unusual, uncomfortable, and disturbing fart jokes at the dinner table.
They have made us dependant on their whims alone for planning our daily schedule, and have required us to visit tourist traps such as the Space Needle on a regular basis.
They have plundered our drawers in search of diversion, disregarding our requests that they not paw through our personal items.
They have subjected us to their company at every waking hour, willfully ignoring our hints that they should entertain themselves.
A family whose character is thus marked by every act which may define boorishness is unfit to stay in the home of another family. Nor have we been wanting in attentions to their whims. We have tactfully reminded them of the tenets of civility, and we have appealed to their common sense and compassion to cease these invasive behaviors which interrupt our rest and peace of mind. They have been deaf to the voice of decency. We must therefore acquiesce in the necessity which proclaims our eternal seperation!
We therefore the residents of this house do solemnly publish and declare, in the name of our sanity and well being, that we are, and of right ought to be, free of these visitors; that we are absolved from all allegiance with them, and that all social connection between us is, and ought to be, totally dissolved; and that as independent and long-suffering hosts, we have full power to expel them from our home.
And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the authorization of Ms. Manners, we mutually pledge to each other our support, our allowances, and the honor of our family.
A Declaration by Henry Gales of the United States of America, in blogger.com
When, in the course of bonfire events, it becomes necessary for a group of people to extinguish the fire with the most convenient means necessary, and to urinate on the dying embers, rendering the fire dead and harmless to forest around it in abidance of the laws of Smokey the Bear, a decent respect to human decency requires that I should declare the causes which impel such a method.
I hold these truths to be self evident: that all liquids are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with inherent and inalienable rights; that among these are evaporation, precipitation, and condensation, that to secure the first and most important of these rights, chiefs shall be instituted among men, deriving just powers from the consent of his fellow fireman; that when any bonfire is ready to meet its maker, it is the right of the chief leader to make the decision to abolish it, and to do so without waste of water. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that fair warning should be given before the festivities begin, so that all should have the opportunity to avert their eyes from the event. The history of water usage is one of unremitting wastefulness and carelessness, among them many terminations of bonfires when able-bodied males were present and in need of a place to relieve themselves. To prove these claims, let the facts be submitted to a candid world.
Manmade fire gone unattended has ravaged through many lands, destroying acres of forest and the homes within them.
Such a destructive force cannot be permitted to burn freely, and must be put out in a prompt and efficient manner when the night is over.
All nonflammable liquids are equally potent in the field of fire extinguishing.
Pure, fresh, clean water is a valuable resource that many cannot afford, and should not be wasted when it could easily be substituted for a less precious liquid.
Urine is equally as effective as water for putting out flames, and is easily available for distribution by male members of the group, and is a fantastic way to put a waste product to good use.
I therefore declare that every bonfire shall be pissed out; and for the support of this declaration, I pledge my reputation as a decent and hygienic person.
I hold these truths to be self evident: that all liquids are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with inherent and inalienable rights; that among these are evaporation, precipitation, and condensation, that to secure the first and most important of these rights, chiefs shall be instituted among men, deriving just powers from the consent of his fellow fireman; that when any bonfire is ready to meet its maker, it is the right of the chief leader to make the decision to abolish it, and to do so without waste of water. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that fair warning should be given before the festivities begin, so that all should have the opportunity to avert their eyes from the event. The history of water usage is one of unremitting wastefulness and carelessness, among them many terminations of bonfires when able-bodied males were present and in need of a place to relieve themselves. To prove these claims, let the facts be submitted to a candid world.
Manmade fire gone unattended has ravaged through many lands, destroying acres of forest and the homes within them.
Such a destructive force cannot be permitted to burn freely, and must be put out in a prompt and efficient manner when the night is over.
All nonflammable liquids are equally potent in the field of fire extinguishing.
Pure, fresh, clean water is a valuable resource that many cannot afford, and should not be wasted when it could easily be substituted for a less precious liquid.
Urine is equally as effective as water for putting out flames, and is easily available for distribution by male members of the group, and is a fantastic way to put a waste product to good use.
I therefore declare that every bonfire shall be pissed out; and for the support of this declaration, I pledge my reputation as a decent and hygienic person.
A Declaration to Form Functioning Ice Cream Shops
Business Owners: We the people need to band together to cause a revolution to create higher functioning ice cream businesses. At this point, the creator needs to make all ice cream shops equal; since hazards, conduct, and quality have yet to be defined to the peoples liking, in order to produce the all around perfect ice cream business.
Opportunities to reform such businesses have been passed by as free ice cream is dished out daily, leading to employees losing profit for the owner, even though some see it as friendly gestures towards the customers. We therefore need to speak to employees to set clear and concise standards preventing such corruption of thy ice cream shops.
We have but one request that the build up food from lousy closing clean up jobs be addressed. Heath inspections do come along, yet these standards themselves may overlook dust piles, and clumps adhered to most surfaces, grimy build up from spill after spill along the shelves, and numerous mediocre dish washing procedures, as only a sanitizer is provided. We proclaim that these standards may and shall be raised for our humane wants, and needs.
Selection of the employees is in many cases anything but desirable. Some have been suspected, and found guilty of illegal conduct along the lines of embezzling money,and consuming too many spirits while working or directly before. We need to strive for a customer friendly environment, since this is what many shops may thrive from. We need to enforce how blaring music, slow service and and demanding tones do not convey well as a friendly environment to the customers.
We pledge along with this declaration to therefore improve the rightful standards of all food-handling companies.
Opportunities to reform such businesses have been passed by as free ice cream is dished out daily, leading to employees losing profit for the owner, even though some see it as friendly gestures towards the customers. We therefore need to speak to employees to set clear and concise standards preventing such corruption of thy ice cream shops.
We have but one request that the build up food from lousy closing clean up jobs be addressed. Heath inspections do come along, yet these standards themselves may overlook dust piles, and clumps adhered to most surfaces, grimy build up from spill after spill along the shelves, and numerous mediocre dish washing procedures, as only a sanitizer is provided. We proclaim that these standards may and shall be raised for our humane wants, and needs.
Selection of the employees is in many cases anything but desirable. Some have been suspected, and found guilty of illegal conduct along the lines of embezzling money,and consuming too many spirits while working or directly before. We need to strive for a customer friendly environment, since this is what many shops may thrive from. We need to enforce how blaring music, slow service and and demanding tones do not convey well as a friendly environment to the customers.
We pledge along with this declaration to therefore improve the rightful standards of all food-handling companies.
Speech to Schedulers of my Favorite TV Shows by Laura Daugherty
Mr. TV Guide: No man thinks more highly than I do of the quality, as well as the sheer entertainment, of the very worthy shows that grace my television set. But different men often see the same scheduling in different lights; and therefore, I hope that it will not be thought disrespectful to those shows, if, entertaining as I do, opinions of programming times very opposite to theirs, programming times that do not overlap the time I should be using for completion of homework, I shall speak forth my sentiments freely and without reserve. This is no time for ceremony. The question before me is one of awful moment to how my time is spent. For my own part I consider it as nothing less than a question of doing my homework or watching the shows I enjoy; and in proportion of the magnitude of the subject ought to be the freedom of the debate. It is only in this way that we can hope to arrive and truth, and fulfills the great responsibility, which we hold to God and our teachers, to do our homework. Should I keep back my opinions at such a time, through fear of giving offense to those who schedule the timing of the shows I watch, I should consider myself as guilty of treason towards my own pocket scheduler.
Mr. TV Guide, it is natural to man to indulge in the illusions of hope. We are apt to shut our eyes against a painful truth, and listen to the song of Britney Spears on MTV, till she transforms us to couch potatoes. Is this the part of wise men, engaged in a great and arduous struggle for education? Are we disposed to watch TV instead of doing our homework, as it is well known that prime time and homework time overlap quite severely? Are we doomed to continue trickery upon our own minds: to say that it is quite possible to watch “The Office” while writing a paper? Should I continue to falsely tell my comrades and myself that AP calculus homework is best performed while watching “Dancing with the Stars” or “Scrubs”? For my part, whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth; although not quite willing to do homework alone amidst the broadcast of my favorite shows, or at least, until the purchase of a tivo by my family.
I have more than one lamp by which my feet are guided, that of the TV guide, informing me of the time of the “America’s Next Top Model” season premiere, and that of the assignments my teachers, expecting them to be done come school the next day. And judging by the past, doing homework while watching the TV is not necessarily the best plan of action in terms of the grades received on said homework. I wish to know why the TV guide channel chooses to continue to taunt me, by broadcasting all of my favorite shows when it knows I must really attend to my homework. When must one draw the line between studying Spanish during commercial breaks and completely multi-tasking between the works that must be performed and watching “Little People, Big World”? The God that presides over the education of students thinks not of the listings of the television. When should one be struck between the importance of watching the newest episode of “Rob and Big” and filling out many arduous worksheets for chemistry? Almighty God! I know not what course others may take in terms of TV over homework; but as for me, give me tivo, or give me less homework
Mr. TV Guide, it is natural to man to indulge in the illusions of hope. We are apt to shut our eyes against a painful truth, and listen to the song of Britney Spears on MTV, till she transforms us to couch potatoes. Is this the part of wise men, engaged in a great and arduous struggle for education? Are we disposed to watch TV instead of doing our homework, as it is well known that prime time and homework time overlap quite severely? Are we doomed to continue trickery upon our own minds: to say that it is quite possible to watch “The Office” while writing a paper? Should I continue to falsely tell my comrades and myself that AP calculus homework is best performed while watching “Dancing with the Stars” or “Scrubs”? For my part, whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth; although not quite willing to do homework alone amidst the broadcast of my favorite shows, or at least, until the purchase of a tivo by my family.
I have more than one lamp by which my feet are guided, that of the TV guide, informing me of the time of the “America’s Next Top Model” season premiere, and that of the assignments my teachers, expecting them to be done come school the next day. And judging by the past, doing homework while watching the TV is not necessarily the best plan of action in terms of the grades received on said homework. I wish to know why the TV guide channel chooses to continue to taunt me, by broadcasting all of my favorite shows when it knows I must really attend to my homework. When must one draw the line between studying Spanish during commercial breaks and completely multi-tasking between the works that must be performed and watching “Little People, Big World”? The God that presides over the education of students thinks not of the listings of the television. When should one be struck between the importance of watching the newest episode of “Rob and Big” and filling out many arduous worksheets for chemistry? Almighty God! I know not what course others may take in terms of TV over homework; but as for me, give me tivo, or give me less homework
I Stand for Sand by Carol Brown
If we were to eat sand, would we receive the sensation of fullness? Would the miniscule grains of rock provide the necessary weight in order to trigger the mental picture of a content stomach? I say it would. We do not need nutrients to feel gratified. We could feel as gratified by filling our stomach with sand as we would with beef, rice, jam, or ice cream. We don’t need to eat food to feel full, I say, we do not!
There is but one leash I would guide you buy; and that is the leash of reason. I have spent more than an idle afternoon with my thoughts on this subject. And the result of my thoughts is the confidant knowledge that it is not the quality of a food that creates the sensation of fullness, but the quantity. Can a sane person assign any other possible reasons for it? After all, does your stomach feel full after digesting, or after eating? I say it is after eating. So the nutritional content of the food cannot have any impact on the feeling of fullness.
I have been told of the dangers of eating sand, and the havoc it would perform on my digestive system. But why does that matter? The dangers are immaterial. For if I am stranded in the middle of a dessert I would not want to die on an empty stomach. I would want to die full, I repeat, I would want to die full! People can cry indigestion, indigestion-but there is not indigestion. You will already be dead! The pains of starvation will have killed you before you are forced to feel the pains of a sand filled esophagus! Why would you not eat sand? What is it that you would wish, other then the feeling of fullness? Is indigestion so abhorrent that it must be avoided at the cost of forced anorexia? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what others may take; but as for me, give me sand before my death!
There is but one leash I would guide you buy; and that is the leash of reason. I have spent more than an idle afternoon with my thoughts on this subject. And the result of my thoughts is the confidant knowledge that it is not the quality of a food that creates the sensation of fullness, but the quantity. Can a sane person assign any other possible reasons for it? After all, does your stomach feel full after digesting, or after eating? I say it is after eating. So the nutritional content of the food cannot have any impact on the feeling of fullness.
I have been told of the dangers of eating sand, and the havoc it would perform on my digestive system. But why does that matter? The dangers are immaterial. For if I am stranded in the middle of a dessert I would not want to die on an empty stomach. I would want to die full, I repeat, I would want to die full! People can cry indigestion, indigestion-but there is not indigestion. You will already be dead! The pains of starvation will have killed you before you are forced to feel the pains of a sand filled esophagus! Why would you not eat sand? What is it that you would wish, other then the feeling of fullness? Is indigestion so abhorrent that it must be avoided at the cost of forced anorexia? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what others may take; but as for me, give me sand before my death!
The Music of the Underworld By, Skylar Swenson
Skylar Swenson
October 14, 2007
APLA-4
Mr. Lovre/Ms. Freid
Literary Pastiche: Patrick Henry
Mr. Governor: the impressionable minds of our youth today, branded have they been with the vulgarity and immorality of this rap and hip-hop music. The days of the sweet tranquil violin concertos and smooth jazz have yet been left in the wake of this new monster. Music is no longer composed of talented musicians but alas; uneducated criminals with a love of boasting their wealth, drug use and sexual ability. A way must be found in which to lower the prominence of these so called musicians in the minds of our growing youth, it is only after this, that the children of our nation shall begin to admire the qualities of a true musician. Has our world come to this? Is our society to soon become engulfed within this repulsive excuse for musicianship? If we are to not fight against this enemy, it will with haste, infect the fragile minds of our children. Inherent morality and kindness is present in our youth; and we are expected to simply observe whilst this parasite infects and commandeers our children’s minds? I ask not these questions in vain, but in concern of the habitat in which future generations are to live their lives. Within this dreadful music are illusions; images of disrespecting women, murdering and selling drugs have maneuvered their way into our children’s minds, and have convinced them to follow this path. Fight we must, for the lives of our children, exposed they are to the treachery of this heathen music. And if arms are to not be taken up to oppose this force, may our future generations come to a similar realization as to the one that we have concluded upon.
October 14, 2007
APLA-4
Mr. Lovre/Ms. Freid
Literary Pastiche: Patrick Henry
Mr. Governor: the impressionable minds of our youth today, branded have they been with the vulgarity and immorality of this rap and hip-hop music. The days of the sweet tranquil violin concertos and smooth jazz have yet been left in the wake of this new monster. Music is no longer composed of talented musicians but alas; uneducated criminals with a love of boasting their wealth, drug use and sexual ability. A way must be found in which to lower the prominence of these so called musicians in the minds of our growing youth, it is only after this, that the children of our nation shall begin to admire the qualities of a true musician. Has our world come to this? Is our society to soon become engulfed within this repulsive excuse for musicianship? If we are to not fight against this enemy, it will with haste, infect the fragile minds of our children. Inherent morality and kindness is present in our youth; and we are expected to simply observe whilst this parasite infects and commandeers our children’s minds? I ask not these questions in vain, but in concern of the habitat in which future generations are to live their lives. Within this dreadful music are illusions; images of disrespecting women, murdering and selling drugs have maneuvered their way into our children’s minds, and have convinced them to follow this path. Fight we must, for the lives of our children, exposed they are to the treachery of this heathen music. And if arms are to not be taken up to oppose this force, may our future generations come to a similar realization as to the one that we have concluded upon.
Speech to the Hip Hop Culture by Gar Lee
Speech to the Hip Hop Culture
Mr. President: No man thinks more highly than I do of the hip hop scene, as well as the creative capabilities of other hip hop enthusiasts. But different enthusiasts see the same subject in different lights; and therefore, I hope that my opinion will not offend them. I shall speak forth my sentiments freely and without reserve. This is no time for performances. The question that lies behind the hip hop culture is of enormous significance. For my own part, I consider it as nothing less than a question of freedom or slavery. It is only in this way that we can hope to rejuvenate the dying culture. Should I keep back my opinions at such time, I should consider myself guilty of treason toward my fellow bboys, and of an act of disloyalty toward the majesty of Nas, whose music is what I revere above all earthly kings.
Mr. President, it is natural to teenagers and young adults to indulge in the illusions of hope. We are apt to shut our eyes against a painful truth, and listen to the music that no longer holds meaning, till it transforms us into horny, money-hungry beasts. Is this the part of hip hop revolutionists, engaged in a great and arduous struggle for the uprising of a subculture? Are we disposed to be the number of those who, having eyes, see not, and having ears, hear not? For my part, whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth; to know the worst and to provide for it.
I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided; and that is the lamp of experience. I know of no way of judging of the future but by the past. And judging by the past, I wish to know what there has been in the conduct of the hyphy scene for the past few years, to justify the hopes of bboys have of being acknowledged for their talents? Is it that insidious smile with which our petition has been lately received? Trust it not, sir; it will prove a snare to your feet.
The revival is actually begun! Our fellow bboys are already attempting to bring back the old traditions of the hip hop culture! Why stand we here idle? What is it that hip hop enthusiasts wish? I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty, or give me death!
Mr. President: No man thinks more highly than I do of the hip hop scene, as well as the creative capabilities of other hip hop enthusiasts. But different enthusiasts see the same subject in different lights; and therefore, I hope that my opinion will not offend them. I shall speak forth my sentiments freely and without reserve. This is no time for performances. The question that lies behind the hip hop culture is of enormous significance. For my own part, I consider it as nothing less than a question of freedom or slavery. It is only in this way that we can hope to rejuvenate the dying culture. Should I keep back my opinions at such time, I should consider myself guilty of treason toward my fellow bboys, and of an act of disloyalty toward the majesty of Nas, whose music is what I revere above all earthly kings.
Mr. President, it is natural to teenagers and young adults to indulge in the illusions of hope. We are apt to shut our eyes against a painful truth, and listen to the music that no longer holds meaning, till it transforms us into horny, money-hungry beasts. Is this the part of hip hop revolutionists, engaged in a great and arduous struggle for the uprising of a subculture? Are we disposed to be the number of those who, having eyes, see not, and having ears, hear not? For my part, whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth; to know the worst and to provide for it.
I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided; and that is the lamp of experience. I know of no way of judging of the future but by the past. And judging by the past, I wish to know what there has been in the conduct of the hyphy scene for the past few years, to justify the hopes of bboys have of being acknowledged for their talents? Is it that insidious smile with which our petition has been lately received? Trust it not, sir; it will prove a snare to your feet.
The revival is actually begun! Our fellow bboys are already attempting to bring back the old traditions of the hip hop culture! Why stand we here idle? What is it that hip hop enthusiasts wish? I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty, or give me death!
Speech to Anyone Who Will Listen by Andrew Kennard
My most honorable peers and teachers, I must say that your company is indeed a true delight to my heart. With much joy do I enter upon our discussions and find a great store of gems of opinion and learning, waiting to be mined. It is my hope that the following comments shall not diminish your perception of me or of this joy I have in our relationship. For weighing upon me is a grievance in our language that plagues me like the foulest disease, and if I do nothing to voice my concern the worrying of it will consume my body until my skin is green and oozes pus. What could possibly be so rank a canker as to cause me such distress? It is the befouling of our language with cheap trinkets of words, a devaluing of our diction that threatens to linguistically bankrupt us. The worst offender in this mob of pipsqueaks is that devious dastard, the word ‘hella.’ Even now my computer quivers in agony and alerts me of this wrongdoer in a midst of innocent words with a red scribble. Rendering otherwise effective sentences impotent from its virulent strain, ‘Hella’ is insidiously penetrating our verbal population like the flu. It strains against the limits of the adverb, modifying much more than it should; it won’t be long before it has jumped the evolutionary bridges into the realms of adjective and verb. We must stop the plague before it poisons our language and cripples it for eternity.
It is impossible to stop the progression of language, some have argued; ‘hella’ and its friends are merely a natural part of our language’s aging and their presence should not be resisted. But do citizens of a city not protest when the government takes away their park to turn into a fetid garbage dump? Does a mother do nothing while her once innocent son turns to drugs and illegal activities? Does a man sit idly by while robbers steal all of his possessions, getting up only to offer them his chair on their way out? Friends, we may not be able to stop the relentless change in our language, but we do not have to accept it without a fight! We must rise up before we lose a most treasured trove of modifiers being wiped into obliteration by the uncaring ‘hella.’ By using these words we can inoculate them against its rampage and preserve their beauty for our posterity. Do you want to leave a language to your children bereft of vocabulary, starved of the proper methods of description? Do you want your language to be not unlike a totalitarian dictatorship—with no passion, no variety, no emotion—only the complete subservience to the tyrannical ‘hella?’ I call upon all those who wish for their language to be free forever to unite with me against this foul opponent. I know not how apathy may strike our peers in this time of trouble, but as for me, give me ‘hella’ liberty or make me deaf!
It is impossible to stop the progression of language, some have argued; ‘hella’ and its friends are merely a natural part of our language’s aging and their presence should not be resisted. But do citizens of a city not protest when the government takes away their park to turn into a fetid garbage dump? Does a mother do nothing while her once innocent son turns to drugs and illegal activities? Does a man sit idly by while robbers steal all of his possessions, getting up only to offer them his chair on their way out? Friends, we may not be able to stop the relentless change in our language, but we do not have to accept it without a fight! We must rise up before we lose a most treasured trove of modifiers being wiped into obliteration by the uncaring ‘hella.’ By using these words we can inoculate them against its rampage and preserve their beauty for our posterity. Do you want to leave a language to your children bereft of vocabulary, starved of the proper methods of description? Do you want your language to be not unlike a totalitarian dictatorship—with no passion, no variety, no emotion—only the complete subservience to the tyrannical ‘hella?’ I call upon all those who wish for their language to be free forever to unite with me against this foul opponent. I know not how apathy may strike our peers in this time of trouble, but as for me, give me ‘hella’ liberty or make me deaf!
Speech to the President of the US Rowing Assc. Concerning Regatta Weather by Melina Edgerton
Mr. President of the US Rowing Association: No girl thinks so highly than I of the importance of a varied weather pattern. But the weather gods and I see the same subject in different lights; and, therefore, I hope that it will not seem disrespectful to you or them when I speak my opinion that is very opposite to theirs. If I was to try not to offend them, my opinion would not be recognized, and therefore I shall speak forth my sentiments freely and without reserve.
Mr. US Rowing President, it is natural for a rowing team to hope for fair weather and no postponements of racing. We are apt to shut our eyes against the fog and the bitter cold, till it transforms us into hypothermic whiners. Are we destined to be the number of those who, having fingers, can’t use them to de-rig for the cold, and having oars and a boat, are unable to row for the whitecaps? For my part, I am willing to know if this bad weather that appears to be somehow attracted to regatta days can be repelled.
I have only one REI headlamp used for early morning rigging by which my hands are guided; and that is the headlamp of experience. By judging from the past, I wish to know what there has been for the history of crew racing that so attracts fog, thunder, lightning, rain, and hail to regatta days. Ask yourself how our pleading requests of the past have warranted the weather gods to delay our races four or more hours, rendering our wakefulness at three thirty AM worthless. Has the sport of rowing in any way become their enemy? No sir, it has caused them no pain. Fair weather is necessary for us; it cannot be so necessary for any other. Sir, we have done everything that could be done, to avert the delay and rescheduling of our racing schedule. We have prayed; we have pleaded; we have done sun dances in an attempt to attain calm water. Our petitions have been slighted; our prayers have only brought on an even foggier Head of the Snohomish Regatta; our pleading only resulted in an almost unrowable Tri-Mountain Regatta; and you have spurned all of our sun dances. In vain, after all these things, we are in the fond hope of a fall regatta complete with decent weather and few delays in racing. After all these years, there has been proved no intent to remedy these weather problems. If we wish to be free- if we intend to preserver the obstruction of bad weather on these select days of the racing season- if we mean not to abandon our struggle halfway through and allow the bad weather to overcome us, and we agree no to give up this noble cause, we must fight the weather gods! The war is inevitable- and let it come!
We must not underestimate the importance of this matter. The weather gods may trick us into submission by making the water smooth as glass the week prior to a regatta, but do not trust them! The weather war has begun! Crews around the world are already fighting back! Is the price of warmth and comfort so dear as to be purchased at the price of delayed and cancelled regattas? Forbid it, oh mighty President of the US Rowing Association! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me freedom from whitecaps and lightning storms on regatta days, or give me death of hypothermia!
Mr. US Rowing President, it is natural for a rowing team to hope for fair weather and no postponements of racing. We are apt to shut our eyes against the fog and the bitter cold, till it transforms us into hypothermic whiners. Are we destined to be the number of those who, having fingers, can’t use them to de-rig for the cold, and having oars and a boat, are unable to row for the whitecaps? For my part, I am willing to know if this bad weather that appears to be somehow attracted to regatta days can be repelled.
I have only one REI headlamp used for early morning rigging by which my hands are guided; and that is the headlamp of experience. By judging from the past, I wish to know what there has been for the history of crew racing that so attracts fog, thunder, lightning, rain, and hail to regatta days. Ask yourself how our pleading requests of the past have warranted the weather gods to delay our races four or more hours, rendering our wakefulness at three thirty AM worthless. Has the sport of rowing in any way become their enemy? No sir, it has caused them no pain. Fair weather is necessary for us; it cannot be so necessary for any other. Sir, we have done everything that could be done, to avert the delay and rescheduling of our racing schedule. We have prayed; we have pleaded; we have done sun dances in an attempt to attain calm water. Our petitions have been slighted; our prayers have only brought on an even foggier Head of the Snohomish Regatta; our pleading only resulted in an almost unrowable Tri-Mountain Regatta; and you have spurned all of our sun dances. In vain, after all these things, we are in the fond hope of a fall regatta complete with decent weather and few delays in racing. After all these years, there has been proved no intent to remedy these weather problems. If we wish to be free- if we intend to preserver the obstruction of bad weather on these select days of the racing season- if we mean not to abandon our struggle halfway through and allow the bad weather to overcome us, and we agree no to give up this noble cause, we must fight the weather gods! The war is inevitable- and let it come!
We must not underestimate the importance of this matter. The weather gods may trick us into submission by making the water smooth as glass the week prior to a regatta, but do not trust them! The weather war has begun! Crews around the world are already fighting back! Is the price of warmth and comfort so dear as to be purchased at the price of delayed and cancelled regattas? Forbid it, oh mighty President of the US Rowing Association! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me freedom from whitecaps and lightning storms on regatta days, or give me death of hypothermia!
Declaration by the Students of Garfield High School by Anna Coonrod
When, in the course of student events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve all social lives, sleeping patterns, and after school sports and activities, and to assume the power of the loss of fun for a life of perpetual homework, they should declare the causes which impel them to complain of the amount of homework.
We hold these truths to be self evident: that all students are created equal; that they are endowed by their teachers with inherent and inalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and a good night’s worth of sleep; that to secure these rights, limits on the amount of nightly homework are instituted among the schools, deriving their just powers from the consent of those doing the homework; that whenever any form of teacher becomes destructive to one’s sleep or social life, it is the right of the people to alter or abolish them, and to institute new principles, and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their sleep and sanity. But when a long train of sleepless nights and stressful days begun at a distinguished period, evinces a design to reduce them, it is our rights as students, it is our duty to throw off such teachers giving too much homework, and to provide new guards for our future and security. The history of Garfield High School is a history of continuing sleepless nights and busy work, which all have in direct object the establishment of a stressful life for the students.
We hold these truths to be self evident: that all students are created equal; that they are endowed by their teachers with inherent and inalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and a good night’s worth of sleep; that to secure these rights, limits on the amount of nightly homework are instituted among the schools, deriving their just powers from the consent of those doing the homework; that whenever any form of teacher becomes destructive to one’s sleep or social life, it is the right of the people to alter or abolish them, and to institute new principles, and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their sleep and sanity. But when a long train of sleepless nights and stressful days begun at a distinguished period, evinces a design to reduce them, it is our rights as students, it is our duty to throw off such teachers giving too much homework, and to provide new guards for our future and security. The history of Garfield High School is a history of continuing sleepless nights and busy work, which all have in direct object the establishment of a stressful life for the students.
"Declaration to Being a Pencil by Bria Locke"
Due to hundreds of years of evolving culture and society there occurred at some point a need to create words, numbers, pictures, and symbols, with a tool; a tool that has been historical and revolutionary in our economy is the writing instrument called a pencil; though it does have competition against opponents pen and marker, the pencil’s popularity is growing worldwide because its precision and tradition is appealing to all; its ability to make contact from hand to paper is accurate and consistent, plus its remarkable eraser top makes it easy to clean up messes and undo mistakes; thus leaving the consumer with a reliable and dependent way to convey thoughts and express the many genius ideas developing in their noggin.
The pencil is a fundamental writing instrument used everyday in school, work, and leisure; consisting of a thin stick of graphite or a similar substance enclosed in a long thin piece of wood or fixed in a metal or plastic case; used to refer to the composition, skill, or style of a drawing; used by shading in or by creating strokes of lines; not only does the pencil have an easy grip physique, it also has a bright yellow coating that stops traffic and is hard to miss; many people take this instrument for granted, even though it seems as if everyone uses a pencil everyday.
There are many different writing utensils used commonly and regularly from day to day, the one device that is used by all ages is the pencil; whether you use the Ticonderoga or the Papermate, both consist of a reliable amount of graphite and wood, which write perfectly against paper, the perks to being a pencil are numerous; pencils are usable up until the last inch of their size, easy to pack in a backpack or spacemaker, all you have to do is sharpen and you are ready to write; pencils have become a phenomenon in the world, companies use pencils to describe products like "pencil pouch" and most importantly though, you are able to express your thoughts freely and brainstorm whatever you wish with the capability to erase what you decide is insignificant or messy. there are increasingly intelligent ideas revolving around a pencil’s usage and how innovative it is becoming; soon there will be babies named Pencil.
The pencil is a fundamental writing instrument used everyday in school, work, and leisure; consisting of a thin stick of graphite or a similar substance enclosed in a long thin piece of wood or fixed in a metal or plastic case; used to refer to the composition, skill, or style of a drawing; used by shading in or by creating strokes of lines; not only does the pencil have an easy grip physique, it also has a bright yellow coating that stops traffic and is hard to miss; many people take this instrument for granted, even though it seems as if everyone uses a pencil everyday.
There are many different writing utensils used commonly and regularly from day to day, the one device that is used by all ages is the pencil; whether you use the Ticonderoga or the Papermate, both consist of a reliable amount of graphite and wood, which write perfectly against paper, the perks to being a pencil are numerous; pencils are usable up until the last inch of their size, easy to pack in a backpack or spacemaker, all you have to do is sharpen and you are ready to write; pencils have become a phenomenon in the world, companies use pencils to describe products like "pencil pouch" and most importantly though, you are able to express your thoughts freely and brainstorm whatever you wish with the capability to erase what you decide is insignificant or messy. there are increasingly intelligent ideas revolving around a pencil’s usage and how innovative it is becoming; soon there will be babies named Pencil.
Speech to the Washington State Bicycling Association-Christina Norwich
Mr. President, it is natural to man to desire to ride his bike on open roads unharrassed. We are apt to shut our eyes against many a pothole and to listen to the angry voice of the driver in the Hummer yelling, “Get the F--- off the road,” until it transforms us into either angry beasts or carrion.
I have but one bike light by which my wheels are guided; and that is the light of experience. And judging by the past, I wish to know what there has been in the conduct of SUV drivers on cell phones for the last ten years, to justify those hopes with which cyclists have been made to please themselves. Trust it not sir; it will prove a squirrel caught in your wheels.
They tell us, sir that we are weak; unable to cope with such a formidable adversary as car drivers using cell phones. But when shall we be stronger? Will it be when we have no bikes, and when SUVs run us off every road? Shall we gather strength by becoming road kill or flipping drivers the bird? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying on our backs in a ditch with ripped jerseys and shorts, hugging the remains of a priceless bike now just a piece of metal, until those SUVs have flattened us from head to foot? Sir, we are not weak. The battle sir is not to the strong alone: it is to the passionate, active, and pain loving cyclist. There is no retreat, but in death and road rash. Our deaths are forged! The engines of the SUVs may be heard on the roads of Lake Washington Boulevard.
The war is actually begun! The next day that we ride on Mercer Island will bring to your ears the clash and screams of SUV hitting bike and person. Our fellow cyclists are already in the ditch! Is riding on friendly roads so dear or clean air so sweet as to be purchased at the price of becoming carrion or another statistic? Forbid it, almighty Lance Armstrong! I know not what road others may ride, but as for me, let me be left alone by drivers or let me be road kill.
I have but one bike light by which my wheels are guided; and that is the light of experience. And judging by the past, I wish to know what there has been in the conduct of SUV drivers on cell phones for the last ten years, to justify those hopes with which cyclists have been made to please themselves. Trust it not sir; it will prove a squirrel caught in your wheels.
They tell us, sir that we are weak; unable to cope with such a formidable adversary as car drivers using cell phones. But when shall we be stronger? Will it be when we have no bikes, and when SUVs run us off every road? Shall we gather strength by becoming road kill or flipping drivers the bird? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying on our backs in a ditch with ripped jerseys and shorts, hugging the remains of a priceless bike now just a piece of metal, until those SUVs have flattened us from head to foot? Sir, we are not weak. The battle sir is not to the strong alone: it is to the passionate, active, and pain loving cyclist. There is no retreat, but in death and road rash. Our deaths are forged! The engines of the SUVs may be heard on the roads of Lake Washington Boulevard.
The war is actually begun! The next day that we ride on Mercer Island will bring to your ears the clash and screams of SUV hitting bike and person. Our fellow cyclists are already in the ditch! Is riding on friendly roads so dear or clean air so sweet as to be purchased at the price of becoming carrion or another statistic? Forbid it, almighty Lance Armstrong! I know not what road others may ride, but as for me, let me be left alone by drivers or let me be road kill.
Speech in the Daily Bulletin by John Renehan
Speech on the Daily Bulletin
Mr. Principal: No student thinks more highly than I do of the school spirit, as well as the academic accomplishments, of the very distinguished students who have just spoken to the student government. But different Bulldogs often see the same subject in different lights; and, therefore, I hope that it will not offend those students if I speak my opinions of a very opposite character to theirs. This is no time for a pep assembly. The question before the school today is of overwhelming importance. I will speak my mind freely and without regards for their consequences.
For my own part, I consider it a matter of freedom and slavery. This is the only way that we can hope to arrive at justice – fulfilling the great responsibility which we hold to Bulldogs of posterity. If I were to withhold my opinions at this time, I would consider myself guilty of treason toward my peers, my state, and of disloyalty toward the majesty of Rick, which I revere above all earthly kings.
Bulldogs, it is natural to students to indulge in the illusion of hope. We are apt to shut our eyes against the painful truth of the attendance policy. We are apt to listen to the song of that megaphone till it transforms us into Roughriders, Beavers, or, worst of all, Quakers. Are we somehow lacking students who, having eyes, see not, and having ears, hear not?
I know of no way to judge the past besides by looking to the past. And in judging the past, I wish to know what there has been in the conduct of the Garfield administration’s attendance policy for the last three years to justify those hope that many Bulldogs have of weekends without Saturday school, passing periods where earplugs aren’t necessary, and afternoons without phone messages from the attendance office.
We have done everything that could be done to avert the storm that is coming on, but it is now irreversible. When will we take action? Will it be after an administrator is standing guard with a stopwatch and whip at every door? Will it be when Ms. Lopez chains us to her window with our every attempt to excuse an absence? An appeal to arms and to the God of Bulldogs is all that is left for us! There is no retreat, but in submission and slavery! Our chains are forged!
Why sit we here idle? What is it that Bulldogs wish? Should we acquire the means of effective resistance by sitting supinely in our classrooms when we don’t want to be there? Shall we gather strength by going to class every day? This war is inevitable – and let it come, Mr. Principal. I repeat, let it come! Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of mandantory education and compliance with truancy laws? Forbid it, Almighty Bulldog! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty, or give me death!
Mr. Principal: No student thinks more highly than I do of the school spirit, as well as the academic accomplishments, of the very distinguished students who have just spoken to the student government. But different Bulldogs often see the same subject in different lights; and, therefore, I hope that it will not offend those students if I speak my opinions of a very opposite character to theirs. This is no time for a pep assembly. The question before the school today is of overwhelming importance. I will speak my mind freely and without regards for their consequences.
For my own part, I consider it a matter of freedom and slavery. This is the only way that we can hope to arrive at justice – fulfilling the great responsibility which we hold to Bulldogs of posterity. If I were to withhold my opinions at this time, I would consider myself guilty of treason toward my peers, my state, and of disloyalty toward the majesty of Rick, which I revere above all earthly kings.
Bulldogs, it is natural to students to indulge in the illusion of hope. We are apt to shut our eyes against the painful truth of the attendance policy. We are apt to listen to the song of that megaphone till it transforms us into Roughriders, Beavers, or, worst of all, Quakers. Are we somehow lacking students who, having eyes, see not, and having ears, hear not?
I know of no way to judge the past besides by looking to the past. And in judging the past, I wish to know what there has been in the conduct of the Garfield administration’s attendance policy for the last three years to justify those hope that many Bulldogs have of weekends without Saturday school, passing periods where earplugs aren’t necessary, and afternoons without phone messages from the attendance office.
We have done everything that could be done to avert the storm that is coming on, but it is now irreversible. When will we take action? Will it be after an administrator is standing guard with a stopwatch and whip at every door? Will it be when Ms. Lopez chains us to her window with our every attempt to excuse an absence? An appeal to arms and to the God of Bulldogs is all that is left for us! There is no retreat, but in submission and slavery! Our chains are forged!
Why sit we here idle? What is it that Bulldogs wish? Should we acquire the means of effective resistance by sitting supinely in our classrooms when we don’t want to be there? Shall we gather strength by going to class every day? This war is inevitable – and let it come, Mr. Principal. I repeat, let it come! Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of mandantory education and compliance with truancy laws? Forbid it, Almighty Bulldog! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty, or give me death!
"The Declaration Of Bully Resistance" by Cecelia Johnson
The Declaration Of Bully Resistance
We the geeks of this country have assembled here today in my mothers basement in regards to the bullies of America, and the rights we have in this education facility that they call a playground and school. We are entitled to six hours of learning and a brief refueling period for our bodies. It has become necessary for our people to hide in the sight of one such a bully in the libraries and computer labs.
We hold these computers to be efficient: that all programs are created equal; that they are endowed by their creator with inherent and awesome mega-bites; that among these are life, technology, and the pursuit of techno-bliss. Whenever one bully has injured one of our brethren, we hold such power and right to tell a teacher and wait for said bully to be suspended or severely punished, and we shall not hide around corners and in libraries to escape the anger of one such beast. We will walk down these hallways proud and tall with our pocket protectors and calculators along our side.
We will not stand for any negative or abusive acts upon us, and those that do attempt to attack any one geek inside these walls will be expunged by our great lordship who king of the chess club. We shall hold no mercy in defeating your own in the deadliest game ever played. One so deadly you will have regretted moving your queen to take my knight, when my pawn will take your queen. We shall not wait for the teachers any longer to stop this madness: stolen lunch money, broken glasses, ultimate wedgies, and swirlies. In every stage of these oppressions we have suggested for rest in the most humble terms: our defeated suggestions have been answered only by repeated swirlies.
We, the geeks of America, have brought this to your attention so that you can be aware of the many attacks that occur in our learning facilities. We therefore, the representatives of the United Geeks of America do in the name and by the majority of the kids of the playground do announce that all meanness and rejection onto us will result in the unification of the geeks of America, giving the right to study, research, and correct other’s English if needed.
And for the support of this declaration, we mutually pledge to each other our hard-drives, our protection, and our superfluous honor.
We the geeks of this country have assembled here today in my mothers basement in regards to the bullies of America, and the rights we have in this education facility that they call a playground and school. We are entitled to six hours of learning and a brief refueling period for our bodies. It has become necessary for our people to hide in the sight of one such a bully in the libraries and computer labs.
We hold these computers to be efficient: that all programs are created equal; that they are endowed by their creator with inherent and awesome mega-bites; that among these are life, technology, and the pursuit of techno-bliss. Whenever one bully has injured one of our brethren, we hold such power and right to tell a teacher and wait for said bully to be suspended or severely punished, and we shall not hide around corners and in libraries to escape the anger of one such beast. We will walk down these hallways proud and tall with our pocket protectors and calculators along our side.
We will not stand for any negative or abusive acts upon us, and those that do attempt to attack any one geek inside these walls will be expunged by our great lordship who king of the chess club. We shall hold no mercy in defeating your own in the deadliest game ever played. One so deadly you will have regretted moving your queen to take my knight, when my pawn will take your queen. We shall not wait for the teachers any longer to stop this madness: stolen lunch money, broken glasses, ultimate wedgies, and swirlies. In every stage of these oppressions we have suggested for rest in the most humble terms: our defeated suggestions have been answered only by repeated swirlies.
We, the geeks of America, have brought this to your attention so that you can be aware of the many attacks that occur in our learning facilities. We therefore, the representatives of the United Geeks of America do in the name and by the majority of the kids of the playground do announce that all meanness and rejection onto us will result in the unification of the geeks of America, giving the right to study, research, and correct other’s English if needed.
And for the support of this declaration, we mutually pledge to each other our hard-drives, our protection, and our superfluous honor.
The Crisis of Lost Free Time by Eli Rumpf
Mr./Ms. Presidents: Henry Gales/Carol Brown/Andrew Kennard,
No man thinks more highly of the work ethic, as well as the teaching skills, of the very worthy Ms. Fried. But different people often see the same subject in different lights; and therefore, I hope that it will not be thought rude to the aforementioned teacher, if, entertaining opinions of a character very opposite to hers, I shall speak forth my sentiments freely and without reserve. This is no time for ceremony. The issue before the students is one of free time or slavery, and thus the magnitude of the subject ought to be in proportion to the openness of the debate. As for me, if I were to keep my mouth zipped shut, I would consider myself guilty of not only treason to classroom 407, but of a complete abandonment of the ideals of teenagers across America.
Mr. and Ms. Presidents, it is the natural progression of teenagers to cower at the mercy of their unrelenting teachers, but that is not the way of wise upperclassmen. It is a teen’s natural inclination to accept the bundles of homework that weigh down on their backs as unavoidable, an enemy to fight but never defeat. As for me, I have seen the light of free time, and I refuse to go back. I for one choose to face the homework head on, and smite it!
I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided; and that is the lamp of experience. I know no way of judging the future except by the past. And judging by the past, I wish to know of what weekend in the past month we, the faithful students, have not been hit by an oppressive essay assignment? Is it that one due date three weeks ago that Ms. Fried moved back a day? Suffer not yourselves to be betrayed with a kiss. Ask yourselves how this gracious response of our concerns corresponds to the ever approaching novel we will be forced to read. Has a teacher ever given her class a novel to read without immediately following it with an essay and a test? Are huge assignments necessary for our learning? Have we shown ourselves so incapable of understanding the concepts taught during class that Ms. Fried is saving us by throwing a huge home workload on our already worn out shoulders? Let us not deceive ourselves, sir/madam. These are the actions that induce all-nighters and class averages of 60% on tests: the last arguments to which LA teachers resort.
I ask, Gales/Brown/Kennardians, what is the meaning of this mounting array of homework assignments, if its purpose is not to force us into submission? Does Ms. Fried expect the homework to be no trouble for us, and therefore beneficial? No, she has been with us for five weeks, and knows our capabilities. The homework is meant to be a pain in the butt. It is meant to bind and wrap about our free time those chains to which the public school system has been so long forging. And what have we to oppose the teachers? Shall we try argument? Sir/Madam, we have been trying that since kindergarten. All we have received are referrals to the ominous Dr. Casey or similar intimidating administrators at other schools. Have we given homework a chance, and do we have any new angles on which to view homework? Homework has indeed been given more than a chance, and we are exhausted as to new ways to approach or view homework. All has been in vain! We have procrastinated; we have replicated; we have incinerated (our homework); we have remonstrated; and all in the effort of arresting the merciless offenses of our teachers! But all we are now is exasperated. Our procrastination has only made us stay up later; by cheating our grades make little upward movement, and the punishment remains too steep; incineration is just dumb; and teachers has responded to our remonstrations by ignoring and silencing us. If we mean to preserve those inestimable privileges for which we have so long been striving- if we mean to not basely abandon the struggle for free time for which we have pledged ourselves never to abandon until glorious free time shall be obtained, we must fight! I repeat it, sir, we must fight! An appeal to arms is all that is left us!
She tells us, sir/madam, that we are weak; unable to cope with learning one ounce less. But when shall we be stronger? Will it be next week, or next year? Will it be when we have to read 50 pages a night and write an essay a week while preparing for AP tests? Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs, and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our language arts class shall have bound us hand and foot? Sir/Madam, we are not weak if we unite! Thirty peoples, armed in the holy cause of free time, are invincible by any force which our enemy can send against us. Besides, we shall not fight our battles alone. There is a just Mr. Lovre who presides over the destinies of classrooms; and who will raise up friends to fight our battles for us. No matter what, we must fight! We have no choice. The chains of homework are already latched around our small vestiges of free time. The war is inevitable-and let it come! I repeat it, sir/madam, let it come!
Ps-No hard feelings, Ms. Fried. Just kidding.
No man thinks more highly of the work ethic, as well as the teaching skills, of the very worthy Ms. Fried. But different people often see the same subject in different lights; and therefore, I hope that it will not be thought rude to the aforementioned teacher, if, entertaining opinions of a character very opposite to hers, I shall speak forth my sentiments freely and without reserve. This is no time for ceremony. The issue before the students is one of free time or slavery, and thus the magnitude of the subject ought to be in proportion to the openness of the debate. As for me, if I were to keep my mouth zipped shut, I would consider myself guilty of not only treason to classroom 407, but of a complete abandonment of the ideals of teenagers across America.
Mr. and Ms. Presidents, it is the natural progression of teenagers to cower at the mercy of their unrelenting teachers, but that is not the way of wise upperclassmen. It is a teen’s natural inclination to accept the bundles of homework that weigh down on their backs as unavoidable, an enemy to fight but never defeat. As for me, I have seen the light of free time, and I refuse to go back. I for one choose to face the homework head on, and smite it!
I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided; and that is the lamp of experience. I know no way of judging the future except by the past. And judging by the past, I wish to know of what weekend in the past month we, the faithful students, have not been hit by an oppressive essay assignment? Is it that one due date three weeks ago that Ms. Fried moved back a day? Suffer not yourselves to be betrayed with a kiss. Ask yourselves how this gracious response of our concerns corresponds to the ever approaching novel we will be forced to read. Has a teacher ever given her class a novel to read without immediately following it with an essay and a test? Are huge assignments necessary for our learning? Have we shown ourselves so incapable of understanding the concepts taught during class that Ms. Fried is saving us by throwing a huge home workload on our already worn out shoulders? Let us not deceive ourselves, sir/madam. These are the actions that induce all-nighters and class averages of 60% on tests: the last arguments to which LA teachers resort.
I ask, Gales/Brown/Kennardians, what is the meaning of this mounting array of homework assignments, if its purpose is not to force us into submission? Does Ms. Fried expect the homework to be no trouble for us, and therefore beneficial? No, she has been with us for five weeks, and knows our capabilities. The homework is meant to be a pain in the butt. It is meant to bind and wrap about our free time those chains to which the public school system has been so long forging. And what have we to oppose the teachers? Shall we try argument? Sir/Madam, we have been trying that since kindergarten. All we have received are referrals to the ominous Dr. Casey or similar intimidating administrators at other schools. Have we given homework a chance, and do we have any new angles on which to view homework? Homework has indeed been given more than a chance, and we are exhausted as to new ways to approach or view homework. All has been in vain! We have procrastinated; we have replicated; we have incinerated (our homework); we have remonstrated; and all in the effort of arresting the merciless offenses of our teachers! But all we are now is exasperated. Our procrastination has only made us stay up later; by cheating our grades make little upward movement, and the punishment remains too steep; incineration is just dumb; and teachers has responded to our remonstrations by ignoring and silencing us. If we mean to preserve those inestimable privileges for which we have so long been striving- if we mean to not basely abandon the struggle for free time for which we have pledged ourselves never to abandon until glorious free time shall be obtained, we must fight! I repeat it, sir, we must fight! An appeal to arms is all that is left us!
She tells us, sir/madam, that we are weak; unable to cope with learning one ounce less. But when shall we be stronger? Will it be next week, or next year? Will it be when we have to read 50 pages a night and write an essay a week while preparing for AP tests? Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs, and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our language arts class shall have bound us hand and foot? Sir/Madam, we are not weak if we unite! Thirty peoples, armed in the holy cause of free time, are invincible by any force which our enemy can send against us. Besides, we shall not fight our battles alone. There is a just Mr. Lovre who presides over the destinies of classrooms; and who will raise up friends to fight our battles for us. No matter what, we must fight! We have no choice. The chains of homework are already latched around our small vestiges of free time. The war is inevitable-and let it come! I repeat it, sir/madam, let it come!
Ps-No hard feelings, Ms. Fried. Just kidding.
A Declaration by the Representatives of the Greater Seattle Area by Travis Burgstahler
When, in the course of sporting events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the tribal bonds which have connected them with a team, and to assume among the powers of the League the separate and equal station to which the regulations and the officials of the game entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of other sports fans requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self evident: that all sports fans are created equal; that they are endowed by the Commissioner with inalienable rights; that among these are good players, wins, and the pursuit of a Championship; that to secure these rights, organizations are instituted among teams, deriving their powers from the consent of the fans; that whenever any form of organization becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the city to boo or to heckle, and to institute a new ownership group, laying its foundation in such principles, and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect a high win percentage and happiness. The history of the present Chairman of the Seattle Supersonics is a history of instabilities and threats of moves, in direct object the establishment of an absolute tyranny over our city and team. To prove this, let facts be submitted to a candid sports world.
He has come from Oklahoma City and brings his ownership group upon us without our consent.
He has demanded the building of a new arena, using the funds of our fine city.
He has refused to listen to our calls to leave the team where it lies.
He has outbid and refused to sell to any other chairman who may wish to leave the team in its current position.
He has made our players dependent on his will alone for their tenures, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
He does all of this with a foot still in Oklahoma, slowly pulling the Sonics into a closer and closer bond with this far off state.
We therefore, the fans of the Seattle Supersonics of the National Basketball Association, appealing to the Supreme Commissioner of the League for the rectitude of our intentions, do in the name, and by the authority of the good people of this city and region, solemnly publish and declare, that these united fans are, and of right ought to be, free and independent of this tyranny; that they are absolved from all allegiance to Clay Bennett, and that all emotional connection between them and the state of the Professional Basketball Club LLC is, and ought to be, totally dissolved; and that as free and independent fans, they have full power to boo players and coaches, heckle refs, hope for a playoff birth, and criticize off-season moves, and to do all other acts and things which independent teams may of right do.
And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of the Sports Gods, we mutually pledge to each other our cheers, our money, and our sacred honor as Seattle fans.
We hold these truths to be self evident: that all sports fans are created equal; that they are endowed by the Commissioner with inalienable rights; that among these are good players, wins, and the pursuit of a Championship; that to secure these rights, organizations are instituted among teams, deriving their powers from the consent of the fans; that whenever any form of organization becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the city to boo or to heckle, and to institute a new ownership group, laying its foundation in such principles, and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect a high win percentage and happiness. The history of the present Chairman of the Seattle Supersonics is a history of instabilities and threats of moves, in direct object the establishment of an absolute tyranny over our city and team. To prove this, let facts be submitted to a candid sports world.
He has come from Oklahoma City and brings his ownership group upon us without our consent.
He has demanded the building of a new arena, using the funds of our fine city.
He has refused to listen to our calls to leave the team where it lies.
He has outbid and refused to sell to any other chairman who may wish to leave the team in its current position.
He has made our players dependent on his will alone for their tenures, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
He does all of this with a foot still in Oklahoma, slowly pulling the Sonics into a closer and closer bond with this far off state.
We therefore, the fans of the Seattle Supersonics of the National Basketball Association, appealing to the Supreme Commissioner of the League for the rectitude of our intentions, do in the name, and by the authority of the good people of this city and region, solemnly publish and declare, that these united fans are, and of right ought to be, free and independent of this tyranny; that they are absolved from all allegiance to Clay Bennett, and that all emotional connection between them and the state of the Professional Basketball Club LLC is, and ought to be, totally dissolved; and that as free and independent fans, they have full power to boo players and coaches, heckle refs, hope for a playoff birth, and criticize off-season moves, and to do all other acts and things which independent teams may of right do.
And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of the Sports Gods, we mutually pledge to each other our cheers, our money, and our sacred honor as Seattle fans.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Speech To The International Threat Of Malevolence by Amine Saouadi
Side Note: This isn't all too humorous, and I followed the style as slightly as I could. Sorry to be so emo, haha.
Loathed malevolence: I respect truly, those you reside within. Those whom, if not for your pretentious falsities, would be generously appreciated by myself. In realization of your presence however, your hosts are looked down upon by my eyes. It is natural for me to be kind. I am compelled to be nescient and disregard you, looking past the despicable and into the amicable, but, is this wise of me as you still exist despite my ignorance? Now is not the time for ordinary illogicality but awareness. I have seen enough of your corruption of friends and lovers. I must put an end to your unquenchable ruthlessness in those closest to me. Maybe there is no certain technique to annihilating your barbaric virus and stopping it from infecting the people with spite and guile, but I must undertake this task to stop the madness either way. Be forewarned, this is no mere foreboding, but a declaration of your cessation. This is the consequential ultimatum of your jarring effects on my deepest devotions. You may, perhaps, try to justify your actions through mine, but it stops not my rage and abhorrence of your being! Too many prayers have gone scorned. Is it possible that you have infected God as well? Does that mean you are inevitable and impassable? All could be equally as true as the hate I illuminate, but nonetheless I am obliged to assault and drive you out of my beloved and my brethren. There is no excuse for my actions nor yours, and vindication will not be granted for either of us, no matter what costs we are able or willing to pledge. In light of this, we commit hostility , and what else? This is the only reasonable conclusion I have come to: that to bear your depravity and rancor is to give up and commit suicide through your abuse my heart and others’. There will be no apologies, only conflict after this. To unravel your hold on the love of my life is my goal and your new enemy, because I will remove your horrifying mask from her beautiful face.
Loathed malevolence: I respect truly, those you reside within. Those whom, if not for your pretentious falsities, would be generously appreciated by myself. In realization of your presence however, your hosts are looked down upon by my eyes. It is natural for me to be kind. I am compelled to be nescient and disregard you, looking past the despicable and into the amicable, but, is this wise of me as you still exist despite my ignorance? Now is not the time for ordinary illogicality but awareness. I have seen enough of your corruption of friends and lovers. I must put an end to your unquenchable ruthlessness in those closest to me. Maybe there is no certain technique to annihilating your barbaric virus and stopping it from infecting the people with spite and guile, but I must undertake this task to stop the madness either way. Be forewarned, this is no mere foreboding, but a declaration of your cessation. This is the consequential ultimatum of your jarring effects on my deepest devotions. You may, perhaps, try to justify your actions through mine, but it stops not my rage and abhorrence of your being! Too many prayers have gone scorned. Is it possible that you have infected God as well? Does that mean you are inevitable and impassable? All could be equally as true as the hate I illuminate, but nonetheless I am obliged to assault and drive you out of my beloved and my brethren. There is no excuse for my actions nor yours, and vindication will not be granted for either of us, no matter what costs we are able or willing to pledge. In light of this, we commit hostility , and what else? This is the only reasonable conclusion I have come to: that to bear your depravity and rancor is to give up and commit suicide through your abuse my heart and others’. There will be no apologies, only conflict after this. To unravel your hold on the love of my life is my goal and your new enemy, because I will remove your horrifying mask from her beautiful face.
Speech to the Fast Food Convention by Lena Rubinstein
Mr. McDonald: No man thinks more highly than I do of the gastronomic sophistication, as well as the nutritional needs, of the very worthy consumers who have entered this fast food chain. But different consumers often see the same food in different lights; and, therefore, I hope that it will not be thought disrespectful to those patrons, if, eating as I do, hold opinions on this food opposite to theirs, I shall eat my cheeseburger freely and without reserve. This is no time for health. The question before this fast food chain is one of awful moment to the consumers. For my own part I consider the cheeseburger as nothing less than a meal of quick consumption or snack; and in proportion to the magnitude of the deliciousness ought to be the freedom to eat. It is only in this way that we can hope to continue to discover the truth, and fulfill the great responsibility which we hold to our mouth and our stomach. If I should keep back my hunger at such a time, through fear of gaining weight, I should consider myself as guilty of treason toward this chain, and of an act of disloyalty toward my stomach and that of McDonalds which I revere above all earthly foods.
Mr. McDonald, it is natural to man to indulge in the illusions of the healthy food. We are apt to shut our eyes against the painful organic food, and listen to the jingle of that fast food chain, till she transforms us into obese beasts. Is this the part of wise patrons, engaged in a great and arduous struggle for good food? Are we disposed to be of the number of those who, having eyes, see not, and having ears, hear not, the food which so nearly concern their hunger? For my part, whatever anguish of the stomach it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth; to know the worst and to provide food for my hunger.
I have but one lamp by which my stomach is guided; and that is the lamp of a cheeseburger. I know of no way of judging the cheeseburger but by the cheeseburger itself. And judging by the cheeseburger, I wish to know what there has been in the fast food chain of McDonalds for the last ten years, to justify that hunger with which gentlemen have been please to solace themselves with the cheeseburger. Is it that insidious trans-fat with which our hunger has been lately been satisfied with? Trust it not, sir; it will prove a snare to your backside.
Mr. McDonald, it is natural to man to indulge in the illusions of the healthy food. We are apt to shut our eyes against the painful organic food, and listen to the jingle of that fast food chain, till she transforms us into obese beasts. Is this the part of wise patrons, engaged in a great and arduous struggle for good food? Are we disposed to be of the number of those who, having eyes, see not, and having ears, hear not, the food which so nearly concern their hunger? For my part, whatever anguish of the stomach it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth; to know the worst and to provide food for my hunger.
I have but one lamp by which my stomach is guided; and that is the lamp of a cheeseburger. I know of no way of judging the cheeseburger but by the cheeseburger itself. And judging by the cheeseburger, I wish to know what there has been in the fast food chain of McDonalds for the last ten years, to justify that hunger with which gentlemen have been please to solace themselves with the cheeseburger. Is it that insidious trans-fat with which our hunger has been lately been satisfied with? Trust it not, sir; it will prove a snare to your backside.
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