Speech to the President of the US Rowing Assc. Concerning Regatta Weather by Melina Edgerton

Mr. President of the US Rowing Association: No girl thinks so highly than I of the importance of a varied weather pattern. But the weather gods and I see the same subject in different lights; and, therefore, I hope that it will not seem disrespectful to you or them when I speak my opinion that is very opposite to theirs. If I was to try not to offend them, my opinion would not be recognized, and therefore I shall speak forth my sentiments freely and without reserve.
Mr. US Rowing President, it is natural for a rowing team to hope for fair weather and no postponements of racing. We are apt to shut our eyes against the fog and the bitter cold, till it transforms us into hypothermic whiners. Are we destined to be the number of those who, having fingers, can’t use them to de-rig for the cold, and having oars and a boat, are unable to row for the whitecaps? For my part, I am willing to know if this bad weather that appears to be somehow attracted to regatta days can be repelled.
I have only one REI headlamp used for early morning rigging by which my hands are guided; and that is the headlamp of experience. By judging from the past, I wish to know what there has been for the history of crew racing that so attracts fog, thunder, lightning, rain, and hail to regatta days. Ask yourself how our pleading requests of the past have warranted the weather gods to delay our races four or more hours, rendering our wakefulness at three thirty AM worthless. Has the sport of rowing in any way become their enemy? No sir, it has caused them no pain. Fair weather is necessary for us; it cannot be so necessary for any other. Sir, we have done everything that could be done, to avert the delay and rescheduling of our racing schedule. We have prayed; we have pleaded; we have done sun dances in an attempt to attain calm water. Our petitions have been slighted; our prayers have only brought on an even foggier Head of the Snohomish Regatta; our pleading only resulted in an almost unrowable Tri-Mountain Regatta; and you have spurned all of our sun dances. In vain, after all these things, we are in the fond hope of a fall regatta complete with decent weather and few delays in racing. After all these years, there has been proved no intent to remedy these weather problems. If we wish to be free- if we intend to preserver the obstruction of bad weather on these select days of the racing season- if we mean not to abandon our struggle halfway through and allow the bad weather to overcome us, and we agree no to give up this noble cause, we must fight the weather gods! The war is inevitable- and let it come!
We must not underestimate the importance of this matter. The weather gods may trick us into submission by making the water smooth as glass the week prior to a regatta, but do not trust them! The weather war has begun! Crews around the world are already fighting back! Is the price of warmth and comfort so dear as to be purchased at the price of delayed and cancelled regattas? Forbid it, oh mighty President of the US Rowing Association! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me freedom from whitecaps and lightning storms on regatta days, or give me death of hypothermia!