Speech to the Fast Food Convention by Lena Rubinstein

Mr. McDonald: No man thinks more highly than I do of the gastronomic sophistication, as well as the nutritional needs, of the very worthy consumers who have entered this fast food chain. But different consumers often see the same food in different lights; and, therefore, I hope that it will not be thought disrespectful to those patrons, if, eating as I do, hold opinions on this food opposite to theirs, I shall eat my cheeseburger freely and without reserve. This is no time for health. The question before this fast food chain is one of awful moment to the consumers. For my own part I consider the cheeseburger as nothing less than a meal of quick consumption or snack; and in proportion to the magnitude of the deliciousness ought to be the freedom to eat. It is only in this way that we can hope to continue to discover the truth, and fulfill the great responsibility which we hold to our mouth and our stomach. If I should keep back my hunger at such a time, through fear of gaining weight, I should consider myself as guilty of treason toward this chain, and of an act of disloyalty toward my stomach and that of McDonalds which I revere above all earthly foods.
Mr. McDonald, it is natural to man to indulge in the illusions of the healthy food. We are apt to shut our eyes against the painful organic food, and listen to the jingle of that fast food chain, till she transforms us into obese beasts. Is this the part of wise patrons, engaged in a great and arduous struggle for good food? Are we disposed to be of the number of those who, having eyes, see not, and having ears, hear not, the food which so nearly concern their hunger? For my part, whatever anguish of the stomach it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth; to know the worst and to provide food for my hunger.
I have but one lamp by which my stomach is guided; and that is the lamp of a cheeseburger. I know of no way of judging the cheeseburger but by the cheeseburger itself. And judging by the cheeseburger, I wish to know what there has been in the fast food chain of McDonalds for the last ten years, to justify that hunger with which gentlemen have been please to solace themselves with the cheeseburger. Is it that insidious trans-fat with which our hunger has been lately been satisfied with? Trust it not, sir; it will prove a snare to your backside.