A Declaration by Henry Gales of the United States of America, in blogger.com

When, in the course of bonfire events, it becomes necessary for a group of people to extinguish the fire with the most convenient means necessary, and to urinate on the dying embers, rendering the fire dead and harmless to forest around it in abidance of the laws of Smokey the Bear, a decent respect to human decency requires that I should declare the causes which impel such a method.
I hold these truths to be self evident: that all liquids are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with inherent and inalienable rights; that among these are evaporation, precipitation, and condensation, that to secure the first and most important of these rights, chiefs shall be instituted among men, deriving just powers from the consent of his fellow fireman; that when any bonfire is ready to meet its maker, it is the right of the chief leader to make the decision to abolish it, and to do so without waste of water. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that fair warning should be given before the festivities begin, so that all should have the opportunity to avert their eyes from the event. The history of water usage is one of unremitting wastefulness and carelessness, among them many terminations of bonfires when able-bodied males were present and in need of a place to relieve themselves. To prove these claims, let the facts be submitted to a candid world.
Manmade fire gone unattended has ravaged through many lands, destroying acres of forest and the homes within them.
Such a destructive force cannot be permitted to burn freely, and must be put out in a prompt and efficient manner when the night is over.
All nonflammable liquids are equally potent in the field of fire extinguishing.
Pure, fresh, clean water is a valuable resource that many cannot afford, and should not be wasted when it could easily be substituted for a less precious liquid.
Urine is equally as effective as water for putting out flames, and is easily available for distribution by male members of the group, and is a fantastic way to put a waste product to good use.
I therefore declare that every bonfire shall be pissed out; and for the support of this declaration, I pledge my reputation as a decent and hygienic person.